I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
