Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
soo... how was my night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
