Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
