dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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