I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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