I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
