bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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