Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
