Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
