Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
