don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
