worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
