i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The Olympian is in my bed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize