Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you would pick up someone in the library
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize