You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
