he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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