bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
