that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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