So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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