Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
