ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
