i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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