this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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