Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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