Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
