i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
