YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need moral support for this bender
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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