It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
