Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we should paint friendship bongs
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