She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize