Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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