i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
