I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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