But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
