this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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