Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I deserve this hangover.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
