It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
