Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
