i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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