So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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