Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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