reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she peed on how many people?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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