i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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