are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
