no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize