this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize