It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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