So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
