I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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