never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
