i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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