i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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