we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
