it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
