I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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