Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
