did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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