Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize